Veggie Reggie writes:

Dear Cooper,

I'm hosting a dinner party this coming weekend, and one of the guests I'm expecting is a vegan. While I don't want to offend him, I want the rest of the guests to be satisfied. Do you have any recommendations on what I should serve?

Yours truly,

Veggie Reggie.



Dear Veggie Reggie,

You poor stupid bastard. You should have learned this a long time ago, and I'm sorry you have to hear it from me. You'd better sit down, because I'm about to drop a pretty big bombshell on you.

Star Trek isn't real. There's no such thing as a Vegan.

Now, as far as what to serve at your dinner party. I don't think you can go wrong with hot dogs. Who doesn't like a good hot dog?

Cooper.